Some days I catch myself seeing my son the way other people do—through the eyes of those who don’t know or love him the way I do.
To some, his social awkwardness and occasional outbursts define him. They see someone who struggles to fit in.
They see someone different.
But when I let go of those outside opinions, I see Nathan—my 13-year-old son with Asperger’s (high-functioning autism)—and I remember who he truly is.
I see an extraordinary young man who has changed me for the better in countless ways.
Here are just a few of the things my autistic son has taught me:
1. He’s taught me to be strong and resilient.
Life with autism brings real challenges, and some days are far from easy. But those challenges have a way of shaping you. Nathan has shown me what it means to pick myself up when I fall and keep moving forward. I used to be fearful and tentative, but watching him face each day—despite setbacks—has made me stronger, more patient, and more determined.
2. He’s not afraid to be himself.
In a world that often rewards blending in, autism makes standing out unavoidable. Nathan doesn’t alter who he is to fit someone else’s expectations. He doesn’t have a large circle of friends at school, but he won’t change himself to be accepted. That authenticity has taught me to value who I am and to stop shrinking myself to please others.
3. He speaks his mind.
Nathan is direct and honest. I used to be too shy to speak up, worried I might say the wrong thing. Seeing him express himself so plainly helped me realize that having an opinion is okay. Once, when his teacher told a story about not being invited to people’s homes as a teen, Nathan raised his hand and said, “At least you had SOME friends. I’ve NEVER been invited to anyone’s house.” It was heartbreaking and brave at the same time—brave because he said it plainly, and heartbreaking because I knew how real that loneliness felt to him.
4. He doesn’t pity himself.
When Nathan shared that story, he spoke as if it were simply a fact, not a drama to be dwelt upon. He doesn’t indulge in self-pity. He feels disappointment and moves on. That perspective—acknowledging hard things without letting them define you—has been a powerful lesson for me on resilience and emotional maturity.
5. He doesn’t give up.
Nathan throws himself into what matters to him, whether it’s schoolwork, building a complex redstone contraption in Minecraft, or pursuing a new interest. Even after bullying or frustrating days, he still goes back and tries again. His persistence is a constant reminder that perseverance matters more than perfection.
6. He’s not afraid to dream big.
Nathan dreams in big, exciting ways. He talks about being a scientist, studying geology and meteorology, inventing things, and even researching autism to better understand it and help others. His ambitions remind me that limitations are often only what we decide they are, and that hope and curiosity can take you far.
7. He’s taught me to appreciate small joys and to see differently.
Children—especially autistic children—perceive the world in ways adults often forget. Nathan notices details I would miss and finds joy in simple things. We’ll watch silly chicken videos together and laugh until our stomachs hurt, replaying them again and again. Those moments taught me to slow down, savor small pleasures, and look for wonder in the ordinary.
These are just a few of the many lessons Nathan has given me. I expect he will continue to teach me—and sometimes teach better than I teach him. I am deeply grateful and proud to be his mom.